I don’t remember when I first became drawn to Lighthouses. I just remember seeing one and feeling the ethereal draw on me. I think I first related to its loneliness, not yet its confidence. That sense of profound loneliness came at a very early age for me.
I wasn’t an ordinary happy-go-lucky girl. Life circumstances saw to that. I was happy enough, but I also felt a chasm between me and others. I could see things about people that many girls my age didn’t seem to know. Someone once said I was an “old soul.” I saw others in different ways, saw their indifference, falsities, motivations and woundedness. If you are exposed to these as a child, and you pay attention, you learn things about people. Losing a parent, by whatever means, and having your life and circumstances turned over like a floundering ship, strips you of your security. When you see and watch turmoil around you long enough, you pick up on clues. You come to recognize the patterns and subtleties of the storms around you.
Like the lighthouse, I stood amongst the storms but it isn’t until now that I realize how like it I was, hence the draw. I somehow lost touch with my light, or maybe never knew how far it shone, until I had some length of years and experiences as a lens from which to shine through. In reality though I know I never understood then that the source of my light was God. I didn’t yet know that my place was to be firmly planted where I was, wherever that was, since the one and only constant I had in my life was God. He was the source of my light and the rock solid foundation I could rely on, as the lighthouse is built on solid rock, standing firm regardless of the tumultuous sea around it and the lost ships tossed about in the surrounding, ever changing waters.
It took many years for me to learn and know, to a degree that I would never doubt, that God is my constant and continuous source. Now I am trusting Him, knowing that he will provide as I work to be a beacon worthy enough for him to shine through.
God’s word tells us, “Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.” (Isaiah 26:4) He is the solid foundation for your life. If you find yourself tossed about by circumstances and you are feeling alone, trying to maneuver through a storm, seek shelter in the one who knows you.
I can recall seeking and searching, trying to figure out why the events of my life came to be, and each time that I relied on my own understanding nothing felt safe. There was no peaceful harbor to shelter me.
God says, “Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.” (Jeremiah 33:3) It was only by turning to God, calling to him that I found the peace I sought for so long. He opened my eyes and my heart and helped me to understand the things that I never could.
He is everlasting and will be your solid foundation; and his love for you is so much bigger than any storm or circumstance. If you feel like that ship out in the turbulent waters, look – for there is a light, though distant now, it is there, rock solid and everlasting. “And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high and how deep his love is.” (Ephesians 3:18)
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