I am no stranger to difficult times. Like most of us, I have struggled through many very painful and stressful circumstances and I have felt the inner turmoil that comes with them. It seems today, more than ever, that people are really struggling. Depression, addiction, eating disorders, suicidal thoughts, and despair are just some of the symptoms stemming from the difficulties we face. If you are like me, you have probably even looked around at times for who to blame for the trials you’ve endured. And, indeed, sometimes our struggles do stem from the actions of others, but for me, more often than not, I’m pretty sure I need look no further than the mirror.
Like most of us today, King David was no stranger to difficulty. He was an adulterer and a murderer (read 2 Samuel 11). He was surrounded by enemies both within his kingdom and outside of it. Even his own son, Absalom, tried to overthrow and kill him (read the full story starting in 2 Samuel 15). If ever there was a person who might be tempted to blame his problems on others, one might think King David would be just such a person. The ordeal with Absalom was devastating to David and upon hearing of the death of his son at the hands of the King’s warriors, the Bible says David was overcome with emotion and burst into tears (read 2 Samuel 18:33). David most certainly knew the reality of emotional pain.
In Psalm 38 we see that even in the face of his many enemies and the immense pressure he faced as king, David doesn’t start with blaming others. Rather, he starts by looking within himself and considering his own sin. Psalm 38 is an excellent example of how David cried out to the Lord in prayer, examining his own life and his own wrongs first, then the actions of others, and finally pleading with God for help and forgiveness. I have reprinted Psalm 38 in its entirety below. In verses 1 and 2 he addresses his lament to the Lord, indicating this is a prayer. Verses 3-10 address the onslaught from the enemy within whereas verses 11-20 address the enemy without. Verses 21 and 22 conclude the prayer. It is easy to see that David’s perspective was that his painful plight was, at least in part, due to his own personal sin.
A couple things strike me when I read Psalm 38; in verses 3-8, David articulates the anguish that he is feeling, describing it with words such as “crushing”, “broken”, “grief” and he likens his trials to sickness and fever. I can identify with the way extreme stress, sadness, and anguish can make me feel that the world is crushing in on me and how it can make my whole body feel sick, sometimes sapping me even of the desire to get out of bed. The second thing that strikes me is the way David cries out to the Lord, confessing his sin and acknowledging that God has the power to restore him. This is seen in verses 9, 15, and 18-22. So he starts with self-examination and concludes by reaching out to the only one who has the power to restore his spirit.
So here it is, Psalm 38, with my concluding remarks following:
1 O Lord, don’t rebuke me in your anger
or discipline me in your rage!
2 Your arrows have struck deep,
and your blows are crushing me.
3 Because of your anger, my whole body is sick;
my health is broken because of my sins.
4 My guilt overwhelms me—
it is a burden too heavy to bear.
5 My wounds fester and stink
because of my foolish sins.
6 I am bent over and racked with pain.
All day long I walk around filled with grief.
7 A raging fever burns within me,
and my health is broken.
8 I am exhausted and completely crushed.
My groans come from an anguished heart.
9 You know what I long for, Lord;
you hear my every sigh.
10 My heart beats wildly, my strength fails,
and I am going blind.
11 My loved ones and friends stay away, fearing my disease.
Even my own family stands at a distance.
12 Meanwhile, my enemies lay traps to kill me.
Those who wish me harm make plans to ruin me.
All day long they plan their treachery.
13 But I am deaf to all their threats.
I am silent before them as one who cannot speak.
14 I choose to hear nothing,
and I make no reply.
15 For I am waiting for you, O Lord.
You must answer for me, O Lord my God.
16 I prayed, “Don’t let my enemies gloat over me
or rejoice at my downfall.”
17 I am on the verge of collapse,
facing constant pain.
18 But I confess my sins;
I am deeply sorry for what I have done.
19 I have many aggressive enemies;
they hate me without reason.
20 They repay me evil for good
and oppose me for pursuing good.
21 Do not abandon me, O Lord.
Do not stand at a distance, my God.
22 Come quickly to help me,
O Lord my savior.
The good news in all of this is that God loves you dearly. Just as you are. He says you are created in His image (Genesis 1:26) and that you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). Like a loving parent he created rules to guide us so we could live full and satisfying lives (as Dr. James McDonald says: “when God says ‘don’t’ he means ‘don’t hurt yourself’”). Then knowing that we had failed to meet his holy standards, he sent his one and only Son so that we could be forgiven and stand in his presence again (John 3:16).
Sometimes when we are struggling, we need the help of professional counselors and doctors, and we should always consult with those resources. But we should not hesitate to reach out to God also, for he will always respond to our sincere prayers. Jesus said these words and I hope they bring you as much comfort as they do me: “Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows, but take heart because I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) Today my prayer for you is that you will find the love and peace of our Savior and the promise of his coming.
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I awoke that morning groggy and tired. It couldn’t be that time already. It felt like a suit of weights hanging on my body as I crawled from my bed. The familiar dread hit me hard. I didn’t want to go back to work. Work had become unbearable in the past few months. The atmosphere was toxic. I had never worked in a place so full of turmoil. There was a constant atmosphere of stress and I felt like if I made one mistake I was going to be hauled into the boss’s office and harshly reprimanded. I first noticed this the very week I started there, but I discounted it in the hopes that things would improve over time. They didn’t. One particular woman seemed out to get me. I found out later that her friend was the one I had replaced in my position, so it seemed she was bent on seeing me fail. I found myself crying out to God for help on a regular basis. I began to wonder if I was asking too much of Him.
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